If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
fuck
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
![tastefullyoffensive:
It’s across the street from “I Don’t Know.”
[via]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/e518f119742a0835ac7e08d46d511f35/tumblr_mmxca5tURM1qewacoo1_500.jpg)
Supposedly there is a new study that says when a woman sits on a guy’s hips when he is doing a chest press, his testosterone rises up to about 97.9% which promotes strength and muscle growth.
don’t do drugs. do me
do drugs and me.
do drugs with me. and then do me.
I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon
I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches.
how is that racist
they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen
(Source: adrians1)
my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me
by the end of the school year i dont even give a shit anymore im literally just like
dontcha wish ur girlfriend was FAST like me
dontcha
procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
(Source: circumcisions)
